A Lady’s Guide to Fighting Vicious Animals

Women don’t seem to think they can fight a goose, but I’m here to help

As the smartest person you know, I believe it’s incumbent on me to sometimes do news analysis to help you understand things. So there was this YouGov survey on fighting animals, and it had an interesting result when it came to men versus women in assessing their own ability to fight animals barehanded.

Now as you can see from the survey data, for the animals a person has basically no chance against — grizzly bears, lions, elephants, and gorillas — there’s not much difference between men and women. There seems to be just as many crazy women as there are men — or women who don’t know exactly what a grizzly bear is. But as soon we reach animals where there actually is a chance to fight them barehanded, there begins to be a large gap between men and women in how many think they can fight them.

This is a difference of confidence. Surveys also show women are much less likely to ask for a raise, and it’s that same lack of confidence that makes them think they can’t just punt a medium-sized dog across the room (to paraphrase ZZ Top: You have legs, ladies; know how to use them).

Well, I’m not just here to identify problems; I also solve them. So to help women with their confidence, here’s a guide to fight vicious animals barehanded specifically tailored to women.

A Lady’s Guide to Fighting Vicious Animals