Five Common Sense Gun Control Laws We Need Right Now

Some sensible gun regulations I support

People always talk about “common sense gun control,” which sounds great. I would love some laws made using common sense. So, really thinking and using our brains, what are some things that should be illegal with guns? Here’s what I came up with:

Common Sense Gun Control Laws We Need Right Now

Guns shouldn’t be able to fire selves. I would support a law outlawing guns that can just decide to shoot someone all by themselves. You know, as they say: “Guns don’t kill people; people kill people,” and we need to keep it that way; that’s just common sense. I know some people will object and be like, “Hey, I can just connect a gun up to ChatGPT, and it will make perfect decisions on who to shoot.” But the way woke people fiddle with those algorithms, it will decide to only shoot white people.

Gun purchases per month should be limited to real numbers. If you want to purchase five guns, fine. If you want to purchase twenty guns, also okay. If you want to purchase pi guns, still okay (though that gun you get after the third will look weird). But common sense says you shouldn’t be able to purchase the square root of negative one guns unless you want to explain things to the ATF (and that will take some explaining).

It should be illegal to give a monkey a gun. “Oh, look at that cute little monkey. We should give him a gun.” People say it all the time, but that should be against the law. As soon as monkeys get guns, we’re a few steps closer to Planet of the Apes. It’s just common sense that it should be illegal for a monkey to possess a gun… unless you want to have to put the Statue of Liberty back together after maniacs blow it up.

Guns should be made from matter. Again, this is just common sense. If instead you have a gun made from antimatter, as soon as someone picks it up, the matter in his hand will be annihilated in a nuclear explosion. I know people like their freedoms, but no one should be able to make a gun composed of antimatter as it’s too dangerous. Where did you even get that much antimatter?

Guns should not be packaged in clamshell packaging. I hate those things, and they’re impossible to get open. If guns were in clamshell packaging, common sense says that would be exactly the same as outlawing guns because they’re trapped in those horrible, thick plastic shells. You practically need another gun to open those things. They should be illegal.

---

So what common sense gun control laws do you support?

---

Check out my latest novel, Hellbender 2: Double Hockey Sticks, now on audiobook.