Frank News: Biden Reelection, Jan. 6th Commission, and Buzz Lightyear

Frank, the smartest man you know, explains the news

It’s time once again for me to explain the news. I hope you weren’t paying attention to current events so this will all be surprising to you.

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Biden 2024

There’s a lot of speculation that Biden won’t run again in 2024 because he’s so old. Also, because everyone thinks he’s doing a terrible job. That latter one is probably more relevant. Like if the economy were roaring and everything was great, people wouldn’t care that Biden is in arm’s reach of the Grim Reaper. But with him being a failure, everyone is like, “Why is this super old guy in charge? Why isn’t he in a home instead? But not the White House — a different home. An old folks home.”

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre reminded everyone that Biden has repeatedly said that he plans to run in 2024 like that answers that, but I have a simple solution to that: Don’t remind Biden he said that.

“Shouldn’t I be getting ready to run for reelection?”

“Nope. Um… you already served two terms.”

“I did? Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Inflation

Part of why everyone thinks Biden is doing a lousy job is we have record inflation, and he doesn’t seem to know what to do about that. You see, a little while back, everyone got all these checks and were like, “Wow! Consequence-free money for nothing!” But now, basic necessities are going to cost families thousands more this year, and everyone is like, “Oh no. How did that happen? What could have caused this?”

Well, maybe the government can send us more checks to cover the difference in inflation. That should fix things, right?

January 6th Commission