Frank Solutions: How to End the Israel-Palestine Conflict in One Simple Step

I think I've found the root of the problem

I did a video version of this for some reason, but the full written version is below if you’re like me and hate video (but you don’t get finger guns in the written version).

So I’ve been looking at the Israel-Palestine conflict for a while — not just the past couple days — and I think I’ve finally figured out a solution that could end all the fighting and killing for good.

Here it is: The Palestinians need to stop murdering.

Okay, that idea probably seems to be out of left field, so let me explain as I really think it’s the murdering — particularly from the Palestinian side — that’s fueling this conflict.

Let’s just imagine a world where the Palestinians never tried to murder the Jews. Everyone would be like, “Wow, those Israelis sure are mean to those Palestinians, and they never hurt anyone.” And everyone would have to nod and agree, and then Israel would feel embarrassed and have to be nicer.

But in the world we have, people are like, “Wow, those Israelis sure are mean to those Palestinians.”

But then Israel says, “But they’re constantly trying to murder us.”

And then everyone is like, “Oh! Well then, you’re actually being relatively nice to them… considering how they’re constantly trying to murder you.”

So it’s really that simple; all Palestine has to do is stop all the murder, and there will be peace!

I know there will be some objections to this, though. People say, “But Israel is mean to the Palestinians, and when people are mean to you, you need to murder them.” This is incorrect. I don’t know who told you this, but they are not your friends.

Another objection is that the Palestinians just really enjoy murdering Jews, and why should they give up something they enjoy? Well, you’re going to have to choose between murder and peace. Maybe they can find something other than murdering Israelis they enjoy. Maybe they could murder goats. This is called “substitution.”

But I’m really convinced from analyzing the situation that the problem is the murder, and if the Palestinians stop trying to murder, things will get better really quickly. Maybe they can even begin to pal around with the Israelis, and then they’d no longer be known as the Palestinians but as the “Freindestinians.” Wouldn’t that be great?