I’m the greatest political mind I know. While most people’s political opinions are stupid and dumb, mine are like pure gold because of my intense, rational analysis. When I speak my opinions, everyone sits in hushed silence until I am done speaking, at which point they all leap to their feet with thunderous applause. Whenever I have a response to my political tweets, it’s just a cavalcade of people saying, “So true,” “You really nailed it,” and “I am a better person for having read this.” It’s irritating and repetitive.
Still, I don’t like talking about politics because it’s annoying. Even so, I’ve decided it’s my duty to use my brilliant mind to solve our political problems once and for all. So today, I’m tackling student debt.
As we all know, there is a student debt crisis. College costs are ballooning, leaving students with debt that can take them decades to pay down if they can pay them down at all. There are now trillions in student debt, and the problem only seems to be growing worse.
Well, I know how to put an end to this, and it’s just two words:
