Frank Thoughts: Biden and Fires, Snow White, and, of Course, Trump!

I explain everything worth explaining

Trump Gets His Day in Court

There’s some great news for Donald Trump: He’s finally going to get his day in court to prove that the state of Georgia was stolen from him in the 2020 election.

The bad news is if he fails to prove that, he could end up convicted under a RICO charge of trying to steal the election himself.

Well, risk and reward.

Biden Comments on Hawaiian Wildfires

So there are huge fires in Maui, and lots of people have died. So reporters asked Biden, “Is this a bad thing?” And he said, “No comment” — just as his handlers instructed him to answer any question so he does say some old person gibberish. But that seemed kind of heartless in this situation, so Biden quickly released a statement afterward saying, “The fires are probably a bad thing.”

Woo. Close call.

Trump Movie Pitch

“So here’s the premise for the movie I want to make: Donald Trump is elected president.”

“Hilarious! I love it!”

“No, this is a serious film. Trump getting elected actually happened in 2016.”

“Sorry, didn’t hear you; I was just laughing to myself thinking of the speeches he would give on foreign affairs and such. So, any potential for a sequel?”

“Well, I was thinking it starts to look certain he’s going to go to prison, and there’s only one way out of it: Get elected president again so he can pardon himself.”

“I love it! So wacky and fun. But wait: What’s the character arc? What are the lessons learned by him by being president?”

“No one in the entire country learns anything.”

Clarence Thomas Gifts

Democrats have been making a stink about how billionaires have been giving Clarence Thomas gifts, and my problem with that is that’s just not enough gifts. Everyone — not just billionaires — should be sending him stuff in thanks for protecting the Constitution and all our lives and freedoms. At least make him a card.

Biden Carbon Vacuums

The Biden administration is putting money into giant carbon vacuums to suck all the carbon out of the air.

I think that’s a great idea. I don’t even care if it actually works.

“So, the only way to stop climate change is to completely restructure the economy and—”

“No, we don’t need that now. We have vacuums thanks to Biden. That’s all we need.”

“But the solution was supposed to be Communism!”

“Sorry, it’s vacuums.”

Worst Drop in Sequels

What do you think is the worst drop in quality between an original movie and its sequel? My assertion is it’s Exorcist — an all-time great film — and Exorcist II.

Now, I’m not asking what’s the worst sequel movie ever. For instance, it’s quite arguable Highlander 2 is worse than Exorcist II. I’m asking what’s the biggest drop from the original (and, sorry, Highlander is not like a top movie of all time).

I have facts to back up my pick. Exorcist has an 8.1 on IMDB and Exorcist II has a 3.8. That’s a 4.3-point drop on IMDB. I challenge you to find a higher drop, and I doubt you can. Few movies on IMDB get over an 8 (8.1 is enough to make Exorcist a top 250 movie on IMDB), and not that many movies get lower than a 4. But if you can find a movie with a sequel that’s a bigger drop than Exorcist, I’d love to see it.

Wrong Side of History

The left are really obsessed with being on the “right side of history,” so do you think they ever stay awake at night worrying future historians will consider dismembering your own children a bad thing? That would be horrible for their placement in the history books! They’d go right in the wrong side section in the back!

Snow White

Man, that Rachel Zegler sure hates that story Snow White. She’s always talking about how dumb it is.

“You see, the real villain in the original Snow White is the audience for liking such an outdated story.”

But guess what: She got cast as Snow White in the live-action version!

Oh boy, that sucks for her. She should fire her agent.

But it might not be too bad because, apparently, everyone at Disney hates Snow White and are committed to doing a really terrible version of it out of spite. You’d think they might try to do a good version just to make money, but they have too much integrity for that.

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