Frank Thoughts: Biden's Grandchild Controversy, Religious Freedom, and Pet Ghosts

More thoughts from me, Frank

Biden’s Grandchild Controversy

So a lot of people are talking about the one grandchild President Biden keeps denying the existence of and refuses to meet. Many are jumping to the conclusion that Biden is doing this because he’s a total scumbag — a real piece of human garbage — but we don’t know the whole story. Maybe this four-year-old is a real jerk. Maybe she once pointed at a transwoman and said, “Why is that man dressed like a woman?” Biden doesn’t want to be associated with that; he could be canceled.

Or maybe Biden’s brain is so ravaged by senility that he can only process six grandchildren and not seven. You don’t know. Stop jumping to conclusions.

Still, Republicans are starting to jump on this as they jump on any instance of Biden being a horrible scumbag. I got a great line to silence this issue, but I’m going to put it in the paid section at the end, so if the Democrats want it, they have to pay me at least $5.

Religious Freedom

A lot of people were upset by the Supreme Court decision that upheld religious freedom. They’re like, “Religious freedom? We can’t force people to violate their conscience? Is this a new thing?” It’s not a new thing, though. This whole country was actually founded because people came here because they wanted religious freedom. If that really bothers you, oh man, you are in the wrong country. That’s like exclaiming, “Seafood?! I hate seafood!” but you’re at Red Lobster.

Is the Economy Good?

So there is a lot of debate on whether the economy is good or not. A lot of people are like, “I have no money, and everything costs more.” But others are like, “Look at the numbers; the numbers are good.” So if you’re having a bad time in this economy, maybe you just need to look at more numbers. I don’t know which numbers; you’ll have to find them yourself. I can’t do everything for you.

War in Ukraine

Here’s an update on the war in Ukraine: It’s still happening. It started because there was this argument where Ukraine was like, “We’re Ukraine,” and Russia was like, “No, you’re not.”

Now, a lot of people have tried to make this a simplistic battle of good and evil. They saw Putin, a man known for corruption and being a thug and murdering people, and saw him roll tanks into a country that isn’t his and start killing civilians, and then they just jumped to the conclusion that Putin is the bad guy. But you don’t know everything. Maybe Putin went to the county office to see where the Russian border is, and he misread it. It could all just be a misunderstanding. And Putin is just keeping the war going because he’s too embarrassed to admit he doesn’t know how to read a map. You’d almost feel bad for the guy if that’s the case.

Trans Movement

So there’s this new thing called the “trans movement,” where a guy puts on a wig and a dress and now thinks he’s a woman. Oh, wow, buddy, that’s not how that works at all. Not even close. Someone needs to tell these people they got things all wrong. Women are the ones that can get pregnant; it doesn’t have to do with long hair or a dress at all.

Product Movies

So has anyone noticed all these movies lately that are about products? There was Tetris about licensing Tetris and BlackBerry about the rise and fall of the BlackBerry and Air about the making of the Air Jordan and Flamin’ Hot about the invention of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Soon coming out is Oppenheimer, about the invention and marketing of the nuclear bomb. I’m sick of this; it’s like we’re paying to go to the theater to watch an ad. I’m sorry, buddy, but we already own enough nuclear bombs; we’re not buying anymore.

Bonus Thoughts

My dumbest thoughts, guaranteed.