Frank Thoughts: Prescription Drugs, Sanctuary Cities, and Fish Police

All my thoughts worth sharing plus more!

Prescription Drugs

So Biden put out a list of drugs that I guess he somehow lowered the price of.

I don’t know if this is an effective campaign strategy — maybe there are a bunch of people who are like, “Wow! Thanks, Biden! Cheap Farxiga!” — but there is one thing I’ve noticed about prescription drugs that I’ve yet to find an exception to: They all make great names for alien warlords.

“Oh no! Xarelto’s forces are in orbit in the assault carriers!”

“But we’re still reeling from having barely fought off that attack by Stelara!”

“There’s only one thing we can do: We must try to make an alliance with Flasp.”

Obama Gay

There’s all these rumors out now that Obama is gay.

Wow. This totally destroys all our perceptions about Obama. I don’t know how we’ll mentally recover from this.

Wait, what if we’ve been mishearing him this whole time, and he’s actually been saying, “Let me be queer.”?

Biden Old

There are also rumors out there that Biden is old. This isn’t just a conspiracy theory, though. There are official records stating that Biden was born back in 1942. That would make him somewhere from 80 to 81 years old now. The life expectancy for a male in the U.S. is 77 years, so he’s past his expiration date. He’s at the age where if he suddenly drops dead, they won’t even do an autopsy; the corner will just shrug and say, “He was really old.”

What’s weird is that the Republicans who don’t like Biden keep bringing up the fact he’s super old like it’s a bad thing and Democrats keep ignoring it like it doesn’t matter, when you’d think that should be the other way around. Republicans who don’t like Biden and think he sucks should be happy he most likely will die soon. But the Democrats who are dumb and actually like Biden’s policies and say stuff like, “He got us cheaper Farxiga and protected us from the aerial assault of Xarelto!” should be super worried he won’t live long. What will they do without their Biden?

They really should find a younger guy with terrible ideas to rally behind. They’re not hard to find.

Disney Lawsuits Against DeSantis

So Disney dropped most of its lawsuits against DeSantis. That’s good because everyone is just so lawsuit crazy these days. Back in my day, if you had a disagreement, you didn’t just run to the po-po to settle things. You settled things man to man… in the Octagon. Bob Iger and Ron DeSantis should just set a date and Octagon it out. And soon. You don’t want disputes to get so bad you have to settle things in a Thunderdome instead.

Sanctuary Cities

So a bunch of liberals were like, “We love illegal immigration. Everyone illegally immigrate, and if anyone tries to stop you, we’re a sanctuary city.” But then those mean Red States started sending illegal immigrants to those sanctuary cities like New York, and they are freaking out. Mayor Eric Adams broke down crying at his last press conference, begging people to protect his city from illegal immigrants.

Sending illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities was a misinterpretation of left-wing compassion: They’re only compassionate with other people’s time, effort, and money. As soon as they have to do anything, that’s where they draw the line.

Liberty Safes

So people were a little shocked when Liberty Safes used some sort of backdoor to open one of their safes for police. But Liberty Safe was like, “Don’t worry; we will protect your 2nd Amendment rights… unless the government wants your guns. Then we’ll open your safe and give them your guns.” So it’s a perfectly good safe as long as you trust the government and whatever system Liberty Safes uses to keep a backdoor anyone can use to open your safe.

They also have great fire protection… unless Liberty Safes thinks the fire has a warrant. Then they will open the safe and let the fire in.

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