Frank Thoughts: Primary Debate and Listless Vessels

Prepare for thoughts

Wagner Plane Crash

I have very sad news: Wagner head Prigozhin died tragically when the plane he was on fell out a window.

Republican Primary Debate

There was a feisty primary debate Wednesday between all the Republican candidates people heard of plus a couple others, but then Pence stood up in the middle of it and said, “Hey, we’re all Republicans; we should get along and not argue.” And then they just hugged for the rest of the hour. It was beautiful.

Trump Skips Debate

So, Trump did not go to the Republican debate. He’s just going to wait things out and win the primary. I’m guessing, in the general, Biden will be like, “Well, if Trump don’t like debates, I don’t like debates either. Let’s not debate.” And then he’ll hide in his basement and wait for reelection. And then they’ll both just sit around doing nothing, and we’ll have a nice, peaceful, quiet 2024.

Sounds great, frankly.

Biden Unveils Reelection Strategy

So, Biden has already unveiled what will be his big reelection strategy for 2024: Don’t die. It’s pretty bold and ambitious for him, but if he can pull it off, election experts give him a better than even odds of winning.

Listless Vessel

So DeSantis called Trump supporters “listless vessels,” and there was immediate outrage at this awful slur.

This is understandable. I was once called listless, and it never stopped hurting. I’ll be having a nice day — not a care in the world — and I’ll suddenly remember that time a guy called me listless and break down — just such a mean thing to say.

Unrelated Question

What does “listless” mean?

Trump to Be Arrested in Georgia

Trump is supposed to be arrested in Georgia Thursday for grand felony theft election, but he’s just had his lawyers release this statement:

“You’ll never take me alive, coppers!”

So, expect a car chase. Fun!

Trump Campaign Money

I see Trump is still doing fundraisers.

Why?

I mean, what in the world will he use that money for? Is he going to use that money to buy ads to influence all those people who haven’t heard of him or don’t have a solid opinion about him? Does anyone like that even exist?

There was some controversy that Trump was using all his campaign money on legal fees, but what other useful thing is there to spend his money on? And, frankly, staying out of prison is a great election strategy.

California Hurricane

So California was supposed to have this huge hurricane — Hurricane Hillary — and everyone was surprised because we were like, “California gets earthquakes and mudslides and brush fires and frogs raining from the sky and boils, but never hurricanes!”

But the hurricane ended up being a dud. I’m guessing it couldn’t take the heat of all the global warming. It’s lucky we had that climate change to save us from hurricanes!

Clarification

I just realized I spent almost this whole post talking about “Trump,” but I never said which Trump. It’s former President Donald Trump. Just want to be clear.

Bonus Thoughts

Wow. I spent pretty much this whole post talking about politics, so I’ll put my non-political stuff in the Bonus Thoughts behind the paywall. I know this is like a reversal of previous policy where you have to pay to get my political opinions, but I’m actually trying not to give any opinions; I’m just trying to tell you what’s going on as best I understand it.

And sorry for the paywalls, but I haven’t finished reading all the Trump indictments, and I might be in there too for all I know, so I need to save up for legal bills.

Anyway, onto other stuff!