It still seems a long way away, but 2028 is the Democrats’ chance to lick their wounds and recover after Trump’s second term. But who are their top candidates to be their next presidential nominee and lead the party? Let’s take a look at the names out there and their pros and cons.
Chuckles the Baby-Eating Clown
Pros: Seen as strong on women’s rights.
Cons: White.
South American Communist Revolutionary Alejandro Rojas
Pros: Has organizational skills and excites the left-wing base.
Cons: Doesn’t know English and isn’t an American citizen.
Gavin Newsom
Pros: Charismatic. Fights back.
Cons: It could sink his campaign in the general election if it ever becomes public knowledge that he’s the governor of California.
Mecha Hitler
Pros: Great record of being Pro-Palestine.
Cons: Needs regular maintenance.
They/Them
Pros: Upsets the genders norms that need overturning.
Cons: Likely to kill self/others.
AOC
Pros: Young and influential.
Cons: Need to work hard to keep her alive until Election Day as every time it rains she stares straight up at the rain with her mouth open and almost drowns.
Militant Farid Hussain
Pros: Stands with the left in hating their two least favorite countries: Israel and the USA.
Cons: Religious.
Kamala Harris
Pros: High name recognition. Already has experience campaigning for president.
Cons: Nothing. They should definitely run her again.
I think the idea of AOC drowning in the rain needs an image!
I dunno man, I'm gonna have to disagree with you. "Doesn’t know English and isn’t an American citizen" are both huge pros in getting people to empathize with you, apparently, even if you're a criminal. Alejandro Rojas all the way!