Much of the focus is on the U.S.’s southern border, but the northern border of the U.S. is even bigger.1 So why don’t we have a giant wall there?
Well, many will say that’s because Canadians aren’t constantly trying to illegally sneak in. And sure they aren’t.
Yet.
But I envision a future where people could be constantly trying to get into America from Canada. To prepare for this future, we need a wall.
And why will people be trying to get into the U.S. across our northern border? Because they used to live here.
See, here’s what I’m thinking. The Soviet Union had this place called “Siberia” to send people up in their north.2 Now, they were dumb Commies and sent people there to work in camps for liking freedom and stuff. Still, the idea of having this frozen place to send bad people is not terrible. And we have this frozen place to the north of us: Canada.
So, for people who suck here and don’t like freedom — like leftists and Commies — why don’t we make this country better by exiling them to our Siberia, Canada? All we need is this big wall to make sure they can’t get back.
And here is the great thing: After we build the wall, the rest of it is free. Because we’re sending them to Canada which isn’t even our country, so all these haters and losers will be Canada’s problem. We’re not like the Commies and want these people to work in camps — we just don’t want them here. So send them to Canada and have a wall so they can’t get back and it’s all done.
Will Canada like this? Unknown. Also, the wall will be soundproof, so we won’t know if Canada objects.
So there’s my big idea: A wall on our northern border. A great plan with no known flaws. If anyone reading this works in the Trump administration, please get this idea in front of Trump as soon as possible.
I don’t actually know if that’s true. I’m just pulling it up from memory, but I’m terrible at geography. But the claim makes my post sound more interesting.
Again, I’m bad with geography, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t in Russia’s south.
Ooo, you should make "Canada: America's Siberia" shirts. I'd buy one.
We’re substantially down from the 80s and 90s - John Candy, Mike Meyers and so forth. Thanks to Gavin Newsome’s policies, Canadians are just filming in Vancouver with the rest of Hollywood.