The Bright Future Ahead of Us (Illustrated)

With the new Trump presidency, it's time to get excited for the future

It’s coming! The second Trump presidency! And since Trump got his sea legs the first time he served, he should be even better at presidenting now. Not only that, but now he’s friends with futurist Elon Musk. It’s hard not to be optimistic about the future now.

So what will this bright new future be like?

Here’s how I think the second Trump term will go.

Trump’s Second Term

First, Trump will get us all even more jobs and money, bringing manufacturing back to America.

All the while, Elon Musk will continue to build space rockets and robots, ushering us into the future.

And Trump will put all the woke people behind bars where they belong.

And give us all french fries, which are now healthy to eat. You saw RFK try them.

And then Trump will enact huge tariffs to stop all those imported goods.

Uh oh. Now everything is more expensive since we can’t make all that stuff as cheaply here. Oh, I know — we’ll just use those robots Elon Musk is working on to building everything for us.

Whoops. We gave the robots too much power and too much autonomy. Being smarter than us with their advanced AI, they they think they should rule and are trying to overthrow the humans.

Don’t worry. We can defeat the robots. First, we’ll need to be smarter than them. Elon Musk will use his Neuralink device to enhance our intelligence. First, he’ll test it on monkeys to make sure it’s safe.

Well, it worked too well. Now the monkeys are super intelligent and also trying to overthrow the humans. Oy. Well, maybe at least they’ll battle the robots for dominance.

Oh no. It ends up that robots and monkeys are natural friends. Now, they’re combining forces into robot monkeys to overthrow all of humanity. Well, this is becoming a mess. Don’t worry, though; we’re still in Trump’s first 100 days; there is time to turn this around.