Top Ten Best Places to Bomb in Iran
Iran is a big country, so make sure to explode the right things
Iran always acts like it really needs a bombing, and right now Israel is giving it one. And could the U.S. join in? Who knows? We do like bombing stuff… especially in the Middle East.
But Iran is a big country, and you can’t just bomb anywhere. So, where should you bomb in Iran? I have a top ten list, but I’m going to start with number one and work down because I don’t want you just reading the bottom of the list and only bombing that. Make sure to bomb the first things listed before going further down the list.
Top Ten Places to Bomb in Iran
Nuclear weapons plants. This is kind of the obvious one, as the main thing is we don’t want Iran to have nuclear weapons. Iran keeps saying they’ll do evil things with nuclear weapons, and that’s the exact thing we don’t want done with nuclear weapons! So make those nuclear weapons plants go boom.
Supply warehouses for the nuclear weapons plants. This is slightly less obvious than the first one, but what about all those places they store supplies for making all the nuclear weapons — you know, like uranium and paperclips for all the memos about making nuclear weapons. Well, no more holding your memo papers together because that place is going boom!
Airfields. The thing is, when you blow stuff up in Iran, they tend to be angry about it. Now, you don’t want them retaliating, so next thing to do is bomb their airfields. Now they can’t bomb us back!
Groundfields. Of course, they could still send like jeeps and stuff, but not if we also bomb the place they keep all those.
Seafields. And they could also come at us on the water, but not if we blow up all their water vehicles. I know it’s not called the seafield, but I can’t remember what it’s called, and I have no time to look it up as we’re busy bombing.
Nuclear power plants. Oh yeah, take out the other nuclear things they have — they’re power plants! Iran claims they’re for peaceful purposes of providing electricity, but have you seen anyone in the Middle East use electricity? Seems fishy; better take them out.
Generals. A big part of Iran striking back after bombing would be coming up with a strategy of how to strike back. For that, they need generals. More precisely, they need unexploded generals.
Bombs. Something feels a little wrong about bombing bombs, but if we bomb the bombs, they can’t bomb us.
Steve’s house. I hate Steve!
Goats. There are a lot of goats in Iran. Why? I have no idea. Better blow them up just to make sure it’s not something nefarious.
And that’s all the places I can think of bombing in Iran. What would you bomb?
Hey, don't bomb Steve! Steve is an awesome g-- oh wait, you meant THAT Steve. Yeah, go ahead.
We should bomb that ayatollah guy because he looks a lot like the other ayatollah guy who died before he could be bombed.