Top Ten List: The Return

It's ten ranked things!

Once again, it’s time for a ranked list of ten different items! And unlike other top ten lists, this one has no theme so you’ll have no idea what could come next!

It’s the most exciting thing on the internet.

As Confucius would say, let’sa go!

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10. Anya’s Death in the Buffy Vampire Slayer Finale

    

    Anya may have been my favorite character from the Buffy series — vengeance demon turned arch-capitalist. And then, in the series finale, she just gets randomly killed during the final big battle, not doing anything particularly heroic. I almost couldn’t process it; “Wait; did Anya just die.” And then I basically tuned out of the rest of the finale. “Anya died — let’s focus on that. I don’t care about any of these other characters.” I hated that, and that’s why it’s at the bottom of this top ten list.

9. The American Civil War

   

   A war between the states. It seems so unnecessary, and lots of people died; why can’t we solve things with debate or maybe a game of hoops with everything on the line? Then again, it did end slavery, so that’s why it’s above Joss Whedon killing off comic relief.

8. Stapler

   

   When was the last time I used one of these? Everything is online now; I don’t need to force a bunch of pieces of paper together with a little metal clip. But I guess if you absolutely need paper to stick together (and don’t mind putting holes in it), the stapler is the way to go.

7. Flashbang Grenade

   

   I get these all the time in video games, but I never use them. I guess it blinds and stuns people, but know what blinds and stuns people even more? A regular grenade. Still, I guess these are probably useful in real life where you don’t get points for killing everyone.

6. Colonel Nathan R. Jessup

   

   “You can’t handle the truth!” Tom Cruise tried to make him look like the bad guy, but he was just trying, you know, to be on that wall. And we like need him on that wall… or stuff could get through the wall. Bad stuff. Still, probably shouldn’t have murdered someone.