Voting FAQ
The midterm is less than a month away, so I thought I’d answer all your important questions about voting.
Well, one important question.
Frequently Asked Questions About Voting
Q. Is it important I vote?
A. No.
Q. But if I don't vote, won’t the candidate I like least win?
A. That candidate will win or will lose regardless of whether or not you, individually, vote.
Q. But don’t people have to vote for democracy to work?
A. Millions of people will vote, rendering whether or not you yourself vote completely irrelevant.
Q. But if everyone had that attitude, wouldn’t that affect elections?
A. But everyone doesn’t have that attitude. The vast majority have not read this FAQ. So millions and millions are going to vote. And once again, that renders your own contribution of a single vote as statistical noise.
Q. What if the election comes down to one vote?
A. It won’t.
Q. It could happen!
A. You don’t actually believe that.
Q. I mean, theoretically, it’s possible.
A. It’s a statistical anomaly with elections this size. And there is always some error in counting with this many votes, so if it were that close, you could never really be sure who won anyway.
Q. It still seems important I vote.
A. Then you’re not paying attention. I just explained to you why it isn’t.
Q. But the vote is really important. If it goes the wrong way, you could have tyranny and war.
A. Sure. I’m not disputing that.
Q. Then my voting is important.
A. No. The entire election system is important and consequential, but your individual vote is completely pointless and inconsequential.
Q. But what if lots of people read this and decide not to vote from you saying it’s inconsequential?
A. My Substack does not have that reach. The few people I influence will have no consequence on any election.
Q. How can the vote be important but my own individual vote be pointless?
A. I’ve already explained that to you as best I can.
Q. There has to be some benefit to me voting, though.
A. Economically, all voting will do for you is waste the cost of the gas driving to and from the polling place.
Q. What if I walk?
A. Then there is still the opportunity cost of the time it took to vote. You could instead have been doing something economically productive or at least something you’d enjoy, such as watching a TV show.
Q. What if I enjoy the feeling of voting?
A. You shouldn’t because I just spent this whole FAQ explaining how pointless it is.
Q. I’m going to vote anyway.
A. Then why did you read this FAQ if you were just going to ignore it?
Q. I was bored and had nothing to do.
A. Being bored and having absolutely nothing else to do is actually the only rationally valid reason to vote.
Q. I win!
A. I wouldn’t describe having nothing better to do than voting as “winning.”
I get that this is humor so I'm not MAD or offended or anything, but I still think as citizens we have a moral obligation to vote on issues or races we're informed on-- regardless of whether not it makes a difference in the end. Of course, I live on Ohio, so some stuff I've voted on has literally been decided by just a hundred or two votes. I think one candidate by 40-something.
But yes, way too many people vote overall.
So who are you voting for then?