We Need Compassion for Those Afraid of Free Speech

Free speech can be scary

Free speech is great, right? It’s one of America’s greatest achievements, isn’t it?

I mean, I can go right up to the President and say, “You’re a stupid dummy!” and he can’t do anything about it except be an old, doddering fool because I have free speech. I can even write this post you’re reading right now, and no one can stop, no matter how stupid it is.

Pretty awesome, huh?

Well, not everyone agrees.

As revealed by Elon Musk buying Twitter and opening up the rules of what is allowed to be said, the left is terrified of free speech. They are all curling up in balls, rocking back and forth, and moaning, “People are saying things I disagree with! Won’t someone save me!”

Now, your reaction to this might be to point and laugh at them and call them “stupid Commies,” and that’s legitimate. But I think it’s worth pausing for a moment and asking why the left is this way. What has made them so afraid of free speech?

Well, think about it for a moment: What is the left’s main experience with free speech?

The primary use of free speech they see is conservatives using it to “own” them, causing them to cry sweet, sweet leftists tears that conservatives then collect into tumblers and drink.

One such tumbler pictured here, free with a year subscription to Daily Wire which is hiring some of the world’s most brilliant writers to work on their new children’s shows.

So, since the left mainly knows free speech as a weapon wielded against them primarily to make them cry a full tumbler’s worth of tears, is it really a wonder they’re so scared of free speech?

Now, I’m a compassionate conservative. That means when I throw a poor person out on the street, I don’t say, “Get out of here, you bum!” I say, “Sorry, but it’s necessary I do this.” So that’s why I also think we need to compassionately approach the left’s fear of free speech. And that means helping them get over that fear.

So, here are eight (8) easy steps to help leftists overcome their fear of free speech. If you know any leftists, try this on them to help them love free speech.

1. Start with a simple new idea. Begin with light exposure to free speech with just a simple, new, but non-controversial concept, such as suggesting breakfast for dinner. “Breakfast for dinner?” they’ll say, “I’ve never heard of such a thing.” And you can say, “That’s free speech; we can suggest new ideas.”

2. Try another concept that is even more radical. Try suggesting an even more radical idea, such as buttoning the top button of the polo shirt. “But you only button the top button if wearing a tie, and you never wear a tie with a polo shirt,” he’ll say, and you’ll say, “Still, I am making this radical suggestion.” And he’ll respond, “So are you going to do that?” And you’ll say, “No, absolutely not; that’s insane. I’m just suggesting it as a free speech demonstration.”

3. Now try saying something controversial but non-political. For instance, argue that Die Hard is a Christmas movie. It’s maybe a concept the leftists hadn’t considered and will give pushback to.

4. Deal gently with the pushback. Okay, he’s fighting that a bit more than I thought. Explain to him it’s just a new concept, but he doesn’t have to get angry.

5. Continue to hold and be firm. That’s it; he’s just not listening. Time to tell him it’s because he’s a liberal weenie that he thinks an awesome movie about killing terrorists can’t be a Christmas movie.

6. Now introduce politics. He’s starting to tear up. He’s not used to being told he’s wrong even though he’s one of the most wrong human beings in existence. Well, it’s time to introduce him to the new concept that all his politics are moronic. Make a list of all his political stances and go through the list, explaining how each is stupid.

7. Proceed with the new idea exposure. He’s crying now and trying to get away, but back him into a corner. There’s no escape now; he’s going to hear how all his core beliefs are dumb. And there gush those tears! Get that tumbler ready!

8. Drinks those sweet, sweet tears! They’re so sweet but salty, too!

Sorry, I lost control there. I’m like a shark that senses blood in the water — but instead of blood, it’s leftist tears.

Well, maybe free speech isn’t for everyone, so have compassion for those scared by it — but you can have compassion while drinking something.