Even though the U.S. is super advanced and civilized, there are still lots of violent dummies out there. Part of us defending against that is NATO, but what exactly is NATO? Here are all the facts you need to know…
NATO stands for National American Tactical Organization… or something else that starts with N, A, T, and O.
Initially gained lots of members with its popular “NATO is Great-o!” campaign.
It was formed because Russia is kind of dumb and likes invading places and places don’t like getting invaded.
With NATO, the agreement is if Russia gets all dumb and invades a country in NATO, they will all work together to fight Russia. That’s why it’s all countries in Europe, but somehow they tricked the U.S. into signing as well since we actually know how to fight.
It seems kind of a gyp for the U.S. because we’re not even that near Russia — except for Alaska. So I guess if Russia invades Alaska, Belgium will come help us. Yay.
The whole thing made Russia angry, because they’re like, “If I can’t invade NATO countries, then who am I supposed to invade?” Countries not in NATO, dummies!
Apparently, Ukraine wanted to be in NATO, which Russia found very threatening because they are threatened by countries that don’t like be invaded, because again, Russia is like dumb and violent.
But Ukraine was not in NATO when Russia invaded, so we didn’t have to send ground troops. We just sent money, which some people are angry about, but if the money had stayed in the U.S., it would have just been spent on making poor fat kids even fatter.
Trump has talked about leaving NATO. I mean, we definitely don’t need Europe to help protect us from Russia. And Europe is now so full of Muslims that if Russia invaded them, it would be like Afghanistan all over again.
If we do leave NATO, we can use all the money we save from that to finally set the Guinness World Record for fattest poor kids ever.
Fighting dumbness is important, so I support the National Association of Truant Officers.