Who Is Andrew Tate? (Illustrated)

His name keeps popping up on the interwebs, but who is he?

Photo of Andrew Tate.

Andrew Tate. If you’re like me, you don’t have much idea who he is. Online, you occasionally catch a glimpse of his masculinity blackface act but don’t really understand why he exists and why we’ve heard of him.

Well, I’m going to help us all out and do some research and tell you all you need to know about this enigmatic individual,

• He was born Andrewina Tate-ette.

She eventually decided masculinity was more her focus and thus became a man.

• He overcame an early setback where he lost all his money to a tricksy squirrel.

Make sure to consult with a qualified lawyer before accepting a proposal from a squirrel.

• During his lowest point, his only friend was a gold ring he found.

He later lost the ring in a riddle contest but has remained obsessed with it ever since.

• He was for a time a champion kickboxer.

Also known as box kicking.

• Had early success as a member of the Lollipop Guild.

He was kicked out, though, for his controversial statements on flying monkeys.

• He later moved to Romania where he solved mysteries with his pet dog.

It ended up the supposed vampire was just old man Smithers trying to scare people away.

• He converted to Islam.

Andrew Tate did so after he credited Allah with getting his hand unstuck from a pickle jar that it had been stuck in for a year.

• He’s straight.

Photo of Andrew Tate looking at a woman with lust.

• He’s become a popular voice in conservative media, especially among those with severe head trauma.

He also has a smaller fanbase with just moderate head trauma.

There you go. Now you know who Andrew Tate is and why he’s so popular. What you can do with that information… I don’t know.