It’s kind of unclear if the Iran war is winding down or not, but still, we probably should start thinking about whom to have a war with next, as there are still a lot of enemies out there. Here are some suggestions for the next war:
Cuba — It’s Communist and really close by. Seems like an easy one if we’re looking for a fun pick-up war.
Russia — They used to be our big rival, but now they’re a bit pathetic and locked in a quagmire in Ukraine. Maybe it’s time to finally fulfill the promise of the 80s and take them out.
Canada — Another one nearby, so there aren’t big travel expenses. Plus, they have oil.
Mars — Technically, we don’t know of anyone to fight there, but still, it would be cool to have our first war against another planet. As soon as Elon gets us there, let’s declare war!
Mexico — A nearby one again (certainly closer than Mars), but unlike with other countries where we want something, with them, we want them to keep something (all their people). Plus, there are the cartels to take out. Ever seen Sicario? Fun movie!
The UK — They were our biggest enemy starting out, so maybe it’s time for a rematch. The way they’re getting, though, this may be too similar to all those wars we have in the Middle East.
China — This is a big one and won’t be an easy battle. Plus, a lot of stuff is going to get really expensive while we are at war with them. Better save this for after we run out of easier opponents.
Ourselves — Really, the only opponent worthy of the U.S. is ourselves, so maybe we should have another civil war.