Why We Need to Lock Up the Left But Shouldn’t Beat Them with Sticks

The compassionate way of dealing with the deranged left

In this last election, the left were resoundingly defeated. All their ideas were rejected and they were told they’re dumb and smell bad and to go away.

But yet they have not gone away. They continue with their terrible ideas, trying to fight to mutilate kids for some made up idea of theirs called “trans” and cheering on people getting shot who they don’t like.

So, the obvious solution is to hit them with sticks, right?

Wrong.

Now, at first sticks seem like a good solution. Any time the left is being dumb and bad, you hit them with a stick. Then they begin to associate being a leftist idiot with a stick beating. This, theoretically, would cause them to be idiots left often.

But it doesn’t work that way. First of all, to use stick beating to teach them, you have to be consistent. That means hitting with sticks every single time they’re dumb and bad, but the left are dumb and bad constantly. That means you will have to constantly hit them with sticks. With that much stick beating we will all get tired. And since we are not leftists, we have jobs and responsibilities and can’t just hit people with sticks all day. Plus, the constant stick beatings means the sticks will break and we’ll run out of sticks. We may have to saw sticks off of branches instead of waiting for them to fall off naturally. That can’t be good for the trees.

So, what can we do? I have a much more compassionate solution: Lock them up.