As a Father of a Child with Down Syndrome, Here's What I Think of the Resurgence of the Word "Retarded"
Perspective on word choices and others things of importance
We’ve had a cultural shift recently, and that’s good. People feel freerer to talk and less like they’re going to get canceled for any little word choice. That’s something this country truly needs because we can’t be a free country when people are afraid to speak. And as soon as we start saying there are words and categories of speech that just aren’t allowed, that can only snowball with the worst people leading the charge on saying what goes in that category.
But as part of this shift, I’ve seen much more use of the word “retarded” — especially on the right. Now, as someone who is the father of a child with Down syndrome, am I happy to see this word so much more?
Well… no.
Our older kids had just recently heard the word for the first time, and we had to explain to them what the word meant and how it was related to their younger brother. Imagine their surprise there would be a hostile word for him?
And Winchester has himself yet to experience anyone insulting him, but I know one day it’s coming. And one day he’ll learn that a word made to describe him is being used to insult others.
So, while I’m very happy at the direction speech is taking in this country with everyone less reserved and hope it continues in that direction, the particular aspect of it with more people saying “retarded” is not my absolute favorite thing.
Let’s be honest, though. I was a teenager in the 90s. I used “retarded” as an insult a lot (maybe as much as “gay”). Still, I wasn’t exactly sad to see it fall out of use (and that was well before I had a child with Down syndrome). There is just something wrongheaded about it as an insult.
We’re an information society, and we like to place morality on intelligence, but that’s silly. We are blessed with different intelligence levels by God, but there’s no morality to it. It’s not better from a moral standpoint to be a genius versus retarded. The morality is in how one uses his intelligence, and what we’re often objecting to is one making a moral choice to be stupid — to disregard the evidence to cling to a terrible position. This is something done by the race-obsessed chuds and the anti-capitalism goobers — there’s piles and piles of evidence of the terrible things their path leads to, but they’ve decided to ignore it. It’s a moral choice to be a sociopath — to simple ignore the harm of one position. It’s something everyone is very capable of and has done at some point. And while we may call the result “retarded,” in the end, it’s deficiency of morality and not intelligence. And I can tell you from experience that Down syndrome does not cause a deficiency in love and morality.
So, I don’t care for the word making a comeback, but I try to keep it in perspective. Somewhere between 67% and 85% of children with Down syndrome are aborted. That says more to a person with Down syndrome that they aren’t seen as a fellow human being worthy of life than the insult “retarded.” In fact, screaming the word “retarded” into the face of someone with Down syndrome could still never reach the level of insult of being okay with exterminating them. And many of the people who cracked down on the word “retarded” never thought to say a peep about the extermination — or actually support it — which shows a great moral rot in our society. We make a big deal about words, but actions and confronting reality — not so much. If you chide people about using the word “retarded” but saying nothing about killing people with Down syndrome, fuck you.1
So, in summary, Western society stands on the principle that we place equal value on all human life, so do your best to make your words and actions reflect that. And when angry at someone, try and reflect exactly what is the person has done wrong instead of grabbing the easy word. And don’t be for the mass slaughter of your fellow man.
The f-word is another word I don’t care for.
Great commentary. I don't particularly like the word "retarded", but the problem isn't the word - it's the denigration of the person. Until we deal with the attitude that treats such challenged children (and adults) differently from others, people will just come up with another slur. (I am a retired pediatrician - children with Down's syndrome are among the happiest and kindest children ever!)
I think Jonah Goldberg has it right when he says a lot of the speech policing/cancel culture stuff could be handled by just saying (slightly paraphrased) “have some manners and don’t be a rude jerk”. Or, even better, there was other Jewish guy whose name is escaping me at the moment that said something about treating other people the way you would want to be treated.