Trump’s Plans for 250th Anniversary of America (Illustrated)

What kind of celebration can we expect for the 250th?

The 250th anniversary of America is next year! Even a Democrat would make a big celebration for that (and they only kind of like America), but Trump is president so we should expect the biggest celebration ever, right?

Wrong. IT’S GOING TO BE EVEN BIGGER THAN THAT!

How do I know? I disguised myself as Elon Musk and got into the Trump headquarters and found a plan for the 250th celebration. Here’s the ideas for it written by Trump himself.

Trump’s Plans for the 250th Anniversary of America

• Fireworks but with way more fire in them. (may be referring to napalm)

• A bunch of bald eagles glued together into one giant bald eagle.

• Helicopters flying over parades raining down Commies.

• Monkeys on roller skates smoking cigars (nothing particularly American about that, but I doubt anyone will complain).

• Unveiling of a giant Trump robot to protect our country.

• A clone using a combination of Washington’s, Lincoln’s, and Reagan’s DNA to make an uber president who Trump will beat in the fight to show he’s superior.

• Canada will be painted in red, white, and blue.

• Kung fu demonstration.

• Fight the British again just for old time’s sake.

• And the Germans.

• Hot dogs.

Well, there you go. Should be grand. We only need this country to survive one more year to see it.