We Shouldn't Sell Connecticut to North Korea

Fight woke and don't sell a U.S. state to particularly stupid Commies

Facts:

1. America is in debt and could use more money.

2. We don’t particularly use Connecticut for anything.

These two things are true, and now a certain segment of Americans (*cough* the woke left *cough*) are using these facts to suggest we should then sell Connecticut to North Korea.

Yes, there is a certain logic to it — I’ll admit that. But it is still a terrible idea.

For one, North Korea is evil. That may be a shock to you. You may be thinking, “I thought Korea was good. They make K-Pop.”

No. Wrong. Because there are two Koreas. A north and a south. And North is the bad one. The South is fine, but the North is all Communists. And particularly stupid Communists. They make China look like some advanced society in comparison.

So, if people were suggesting selling Connecticut to South Korea, I’d consider it. But selling Connecticut to North Korea should be a non-starter.

Yeah, I know, the woke left are like, “You can’t judge countries, man. They’re all equal. Except for America, which is bad.” Well, that is stupid. If someone says something like that to you need to explain to that person why what he said is wrong… or if you don’t have the time for that, hit the person on the head with a stick while yelling, “No!”

But it’s not even just that North Korea is bad. We also have to consider the people of Connecticut. Now, I’ve never met anyone from Connecticut, but theoretically, someone there could be nice. Would it be fair to have a nice person now in the hands of a foreign country? Let’s say it’s not North Korea we’re proposing to sell Connecticut to, but instead a foreign country I actually like, such as…

…

Well, let’s pretend there’s a foreign country I like. We’ll call it “Nicestan.” Would it still be okay to sell Connecticut to Nicestan? Well, I guess so, since Nicestan has an advanced industrial economy and strict guards on individual rights.

Okay, I invented a fictional country that is too nice and have stepped on my own point.

Anyway, we need to fight against woke and not sell Connecticut to North Korea (which is a million times worse than Nicestan) and have all the Connecticutians end up in some Commie work camp (or whatever it is they do in North Korea). And maybe we can eventually use Connecticut for something. We could put like a dog food factory there.